Matrimony Formation Class #4 The Rite of Holy Matrimony

Matrimony Formation Class #4 

The Rite of Holy Matrimony

1. What is a Rite? 

 A “rite” or ritual, is the correct way to perform a ______________.  It refers to the correct way to worship God, to offer Him adoration – that is, the particular honor and reverence that is due to God alone. 

2. It is not simply about uniting you to each other, but also about uniting you to ______. 

3. The heart of the wedding is the mutual _______ ___ _____________ and the mutual gift of oneself to the other, before a representative of the Catholic Church. 

4.  Why do we usually celebrate Marriage during Mass? “The Eucharist is the very ________ of Christian marriage. The Eucharistic Sacrifice, in fact, represents Christ's covenant of love with the Church, sealed with His blood on the Cross.(145) In this sacrifice of the New and Eternal Covenant.

5.  What is meant by freedom? Love cannot be forced or coerced. In the love of the married couple, they give the entirety of themselves. Love is always a _______, and cannot be stolen without ceasing to be love.

6. Why do the couple join hands? 

 The joining of hands was an ancient symbol of making a solemn _________.  The ritual has its roots in the early days of the Church.

7. What is the Meaning and symbolism of Ring?

 As the rite makes clear, the ring is a symbol of their faithfulness to each other. In its shape it has___ _____, as their promise is not for merely a period of their lives, but until death separates them. 

8.What is the Nuptial Blessing ?

Immediately following the Our Father, a special blessing is given that asks God to assist the couple throughout their married lives.

Class notes Matrimony formation class #3

Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

When God created Adam and Eve, He instituted Marriage. 

• Marriage is the complete and mutual gift of self to another person, body and soul, leading to a union of persons

• Complete: everything the person is and has
• Mutual: each to each; it cannot be one-sided or that would destroy the intended union of persons
• Because body and soul, can only be a man and a woman: their bodies are made for union, welcome the union, and bring forth new persons through that union of human persons
• It is a gift: that is, it must be freely offered and freely accepted by each spouse

• The union must be, then:

• Free-  Love that is not free is not love. Something that is stolen or coerced is not a gift. 
• Faithful- When you give someone a gift, you can’t decide later on that you want it back. Once you have handed someone a gift and said, “here, this is yours” you can’t snatch the present away, even if you are angry and upset. Marriage is the complete gift of oneself.  Once you give yourself away, you cannot take your self back, or give yourself to somebody else, because you are no longer your own. Marriage must be between only one man and only one woman for that reason. It is exclusive and permanent. The special gift and love in a marriage cannot be shared. It cannot be given for only for a period of time, or it is not a gift at all.  
• Entire- This union is not the gift of only part of yourself, but the gift of the entire body-and-soul human person. There must be nothing that is held back, nothing that is kept from the other, because that would destroy the perfection of the gift and the union.
• Fruitful-  If a marriage is not open to life, to having children and becoming a physical father and mother, it is not an entire gift. A marriage that is afraid of new life, that wants to control how much new life comes into being through their love is being stingy with their love. It destroys the union because it keeps back part of themselves, their fertility and ability to create new life. 

• Sexuality is an important part of this complete gift, because we are creatures of body and soul

• Sex (marital embrace, marital union) has a dignity, a purpose, and a meaning; it is neither dirty and shameful, nor merely about entertainment
• It completes the gift of self, by sharing oneself in an exclusive way: there is a language of the body, which is a full expression of the love that is meant to be present between husband and wife

• Therefore, the misuse of sexuality is to tell a lie with the body
• It is not the only expression of married love nor its foundation, but it confirms and completes the complete gift of self

• The fact of a Love Language of the Body not simply a romantic idea, but something very real 

• A large part of any communication is non-verbal
• Human beings have a real need for the touch of another (john Hopkins orphans)
• Giving one’s heart is a romantic idea, giving of seed and body is real and completes (Burke)

“Affection is not an urge to consume.” L&R 110

• Love cannot be separated from life

• Primary purpose of sex and marriage is to bring new persons into existence who are meant to be with God for all eternity
• The love of a man and woman is not just between themselves, but with God: they are the means through which He creates
• Since the human person was made to love and to be loved, every person was meant to begin their existence because of love, through of the love of their father and their mother. 
• The husband makes his wife have the new dignity of motherhood, and the wife gives her husband the new honor of fatherhood

• Marriage has two inseparable goods:

• Children, who need instruction, and guidance
• Good of spouses: help each other and support each other, love and be loved

• Builds up society
• It is school of love: learning how to be unselfish, because of other and because of children; Learning how to be unselfish in marriage begins with someone that it is easy to serve, someone that they are attracted to. But the love in marriage is meant to go beyond simple attraction and emotion, and to become a choice to serve and to love even without the help that the emotion gives. Love is more than an emotion. A man who is on a honeymoon with his wife is still in love even if he gets seasick and stops thinking about her. 

A Note On Celibacy

     If Marriage is such a good and holy thing, do priests and nuns close themselves off from an important part of being a human being? Does a priest or a nun have to deny their masculinity or femininity?

     The answer is no. We will give three reasons. 

• Sex is the physical expression where one human person gives him or herself completely and exclusively to their husband or wife to generate new life and a deeper union. The vow of celibacy or virginity is not simply a denial of one’s gender or a way to refuse to give oneself. Celibacy is giving oneself body-and-soul in another way.  It is giving oneself completely and exclusively to God. It says that one belongs to God so completely and exclusively that one cannot give oneself body-and-soul to a human person. This requires a special calling and Grace. 
• Priests and religious sisters are still Fathers and Mothers. There union with God by their vows of celibacy and virginity is for the purpose of generating spiritual life in other people. Their vows and union with God allow them to have a true spiritual Father and Motherhood.
• The vows point to Heaven where the human body will acquire new glory. Here on earth we are asked to help God create new life through the physical embrace of husband and wife. After the Resurrection, there will not be any more people being created. This does not destroy the body or it’s meaning, or destroy any earthly friendship.  Rather, it means that body-and-soul person will be transformed. Here on earth, our bodies change and develop until we are able to give ourselves to another person for the purpose of new life; in Heaven they will be developed and changed again for a different kind of union with God.  

• Grace builds on nature. During His earthly life, Jesus took the union of a natural marriage and elevated it into a Sacrament. As good as a natural marriage is, the marriage that is a Sacrament is incomparably better. It contains everything good that a natural marriage is and has, but gives it a new meaning and a new life. Every good part, every gift and pleasure is elevated and transformed by the Grace of God.  

• God blesses and makes it become not simply a union of their own efforts, but in and through Him, with His Strength and Grace. 

• What is a Sacrament?

• The classical definition of a Sacrament is this: “A Sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace.” (Baltimore Catechism 3, no. 13, q. Sign
• A sign is a thing which points to something beyond itself. What it means – what it actually is – is not just the thing in front of us, but also something more.

• A stop sign doesn’t cause the traffic to stop, but simply says they should. It points out something a driver should follow to be safe. 

Outward sign

• The Sacrament is something we can see and touch and feel. It not only gives something to our souls, but it points to what is happening in our souls invisibly. The sign shows us what God is doing, pointing to something beyond itself. Thus, in Baptism, where a person is washed with water while the Name of the Trinity in Three Persons is invoked, the meaning, what’s really going on, isn’t simply that somebody is being washed while the Trinity is mentioned. 

Effective sign

• Unlike a stop sign or smoke, the Sacrament doesn’t merely point out something to us – in this case, grace. It actually causes it to occur. The visible part of the Sacrament shows and explains the other, invisible part. But more than that: by the power of God it causes the invisible grace. 

• The outward sign of a Sacrament is something like the flame of a candle: the flame shows us that there is heat, and causes the air to be hot; or like the muscles of a weightlifter, showing and causing his strength. 

Instituted by Christ

• Christ gave us the seven Sacraments. There are no more and no less. He gave us what is most important in each Sacrament and taught the Apostles what they meant and what they did. They are from Jesus, and they are the ordinary means of our salvation. Because they were given to us by Jesus, the Sacraments cannot be added to by the Church, not can anything important be taken away. 

• However, Jesus allowed the Apostles to add ceremonies to the Sacraments, to adorn them and to add words and actions which explain and clarify what is actually taking place. He allowed them to decide where and when they could be celebrated.

To give grace

• The Sacraments are the ordinary means that God unites man to Himself. Each of the seven Sacrament is given to bring man to Himself in a particular way and at a particular moment in each person’s life. The Sacrament gives us two kinds of Grace:

• Sanctifying Grace or an increase of it. It  makes us holy and pleasing to Him. It is this that makes us His adopted sons. 
• We are also given a special grace particular to that Sacrament, a Sacramental Grace, allowing the purpose of the Sacrament to take place. For example, the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony not only increases Sanctifying Grace when received correctly, but it also gives the couple the graces they need to live out their married lives in a holy manner, pleasing to God.

Bound together before God

The Sacrament of Marriage means that a man and a woman give themselves to each other, completely and freely. They give themselves to each other by their wedding vows, deliberately handing themselves over to each other, not simply before their families and the society, but before the eyes of God. 

The gift comes from their own will, but its strength, permanence and beauty come from God. “Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” (Matthew 19:6) 

A sacramental marriage is not simply a human action; it is an act of praise and worship of God. It is a religious action. It is the gift of a man to a woman, and of a woman to a man, but done to praise and glorify God.  The very act of marrying begins to fulfill the vocation of man in a special way: it unites man to God, it unites human persons to each other, and it blesses the physical world, because it is in the physical world that God has been honored and glorified. 

This gives the promises a special beauty and solemnity, while losing nothing of the goodness that a natural marriage has. The promises of marriage are not simply made to each other or to some human society, but they are made to God. They are promises of love for each other because God has wanted it. They are promises before God, for the sake of God, given to God Himself as an action of religious honor, praising and glorifying God.

Union in Christ

The union of a husband and wife in Sacramental marriage flows from the Union of each to Jesus in their Baptism. 

• When the man and the woman were baptized they were joined to God Himself, becoming members of the Body of Christ. They received Life from Him, they became able to do actions that were supernaturally pleasing to God. Because of the grace given to them by their Union to Jesus they were able to make daily life supernaturally pleasing to God, glorifying Him in everything they did. They were able to offer every part of their lives as sacrifice, joining it to the One Perfect Sacrifice of the Cross. 
• But Baptism doesn’t simply unite man to God, but it also unites all the baptized together. “[W]e, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another.” (Romans 12:5) This union is made special and deeper in marriage, but it can only become that way because a man and a woman were first united to Jesus. 
• Their marriage is therefore a mutual union in service to God. It gives the husband and a wife a new office, a new task, in the Mystical Body of Christ. Before their Marriage they possessed one job, after their Marriage they have another task they are asked to do for God.  
• Before his marriage the man is meant to stand before God out of love, and ask God where He wishes him to serve and to love Him. In marriage, God points out the woman and tells the man to serve and love Him by taking care of this woman. He gave the man his wife to care, honor, and to help God bring to Heaven. Then, he is supposed to care and raise the children that God gives him through his wife. That is the way the married man is asked to serve and love God. And before her marriage the woman is meant to ask God where God wishes her to be, how she is supposed to serve and love God. If she is to be married God points out the man and tells her to serve Him by caring and respecting her husband, helping God bring him to Heaven. Then, she is supposed to care and raise the children God gives her through her husband. That is way the married woman is asked to serve and love God. 

But this union to each other in Christ must be 

• Free
• Faithful 
• Fruitful
• Entire 

This is not simply because they love each other and makes vows to each other, but also because they love God and have made the vow to Him. 

Sacrament flows from the Cross

Marriage is Sacrament for the Baptized. That means that it is not simply a good gift for mutual support and help, but that it is a means of 

• Grace
• supernatural Life

and 

• a path to Holiness. 

• The Sacrament of Marriage brings the couple in their union closer to God. It makes them pleasing to Him in a new way. It then gives the couple all of the graces they need to live out their married life and raise their children. Of course, the husband and wife have to use the graces offered to them. 
• Every Sacrament flows from the Cross, hands on the Grace won by Jesus through something we can see, and hear, and touch. The Sacrament of Marriage is not simply a union and love forged by two weak human hearts and wills: it is a permanent bond created by God. It is a union given by God. It is Grace won by God by His death. 

Every Sacrament makes real what it signifies 

The Sacrament signifies a union with Christ and with each other for the purpose of raising children, and in that, the holiness and good of the husband and wife. 

• The Sacrament signifies this special Union with Christ, and with each other in Christ, and so really causes it to exist. 
• This is one reason why married couples should go to Holy Communion – the Sacrament of Union – to help them receive the Graces of Marriage fruitfully.

• The matter and form of the Sacrament is the acts of the Married couple, their mutual exchange of themselves in their wedding vows. In their vows they promise to give themselves as husband and wife to each other. This promise takes place before the Church, especially before the priest who represents God Himself. 
• Once the vow has been consummated – once they have given themselves to each other in the physical embrace of married love, expressing in a bodily way what they have sworn with their mouths and wills – the marriage can never be dissolved. No earthly power, or even any power in the Church, even the Pope himself can make them no longer married. 

(Before their marriage has been consummated, the Pope may dissolve the marriage, but no other authority can. Since they have made a vow before God, they would have to be released from their vow by God’s chief representative.) 

• The Ministers of the Sacrament are the husband and wife themselves. The husband is the means through which God gives Grace to his wife, and the wife is the means through which God gives Grace to her husband. Ordinarily, in order to properly act as ministers of the Sacrament, they must promise themselves to each other before a priest. This makes the meaning of the Sacrament – their union with each other in Christ – clearer and more explicit. 
• Every Sacrament points to Grace and gives those who receive it new life. Marriage is a “Sacrament of the living”, meaning that it must be received in the state of Grace to be good and fruitful. It does not restore a union lost by sin, but it is meant to perfect the union with Christ through each other. If someone is married when they are in mortal sin, the Sacrament is valid, though illicit. They really do get married, but they do not receive any grace. It is a marriage, but not to their spiritual benefit. Once they go to Confession the graces they would have gotten in their Marriage are given to them as well. This is one reason why couples about to married should first go to Confession. 
• The Sacrament of Marriage, when received properly, increases Sanctifying Grace in the souls of the husband and wife. It makes them more pleasing to God, more closely united to Him and more like Him. The good things they do become that much more pleasing to Him, because they are that much more “supernaturalized”.  
• Marriage also imparts special Sacramental Graces to the husband and the wife. It sanctifies their love, making it less for natural reasons and more true supernatural charity, it helps them to bear with each other’s faults, and it helps them raise and train their children in the right way. 

Sex in a Sacramental Marriage

The sexual union of a husband and wife is the bodily part of their vow. It makes their vows lived out and completely permanent. It is the most complete expression of it since it involves the body as well as the soul.

• Originally, in the Garden, Adam and Eve were created in grace. They did not receive grace through physical Sacraments, but grew in Grace and Union with God through deliberate acts of love for God – whether prayers, or work for His sake.
• The bodily union of husband and wife was meant to be a religious act, since it was meant to be the action of holy people done out of love for God through each other. If Adam hadn’t sinned, the union itself would have caused an increase in Grace since it was an act of love for each other, created new life for God, and was done out of love for each other because they loved God.  
• Their children were originally meant to receive friendship and union with God not because of the Sacrament of baptism, but simply because they were the children of Adam and Eve. 
• The physical union of a husband and wife would not only have been the source of physical life for the baby, but also the source of supernatural friendship and union with God. 
• The Fall hurt the union of men and women in marriage, and cut it off from it’s supernatural heart – which was the strength and life of marriage. 
• The Sacrament of Marriage heals that particular area wounded by the Fall, making the union of husband and wife holy and good once again. (Baptism gives the soul the grace lost by original sin.)  Human sexuality is healed and blessed in a Sacramental marriage.
• Like any marriage, human sexuality in Sacramental Marriage has two inseparable ends or goods: the children God gives the husband and wife, and the good of the spouses. 

Children for Heaven

In their marriage the husband and wife give themselves body-and-soul to God through each other. The primary reason for this, out of which all other reasons flow, is to help God create new life.

• In their marriage, the husband and wife have consecrated their bodies to God. They have allowed themselves be the means through which God creates new souls to be joined to Him through His Church. 
• Their union isn’t simply for the creation of new human life, but new human life purposely consecrated to God. Because the husband and wife are members of the Church, they are promising to raise their children for Christ. They will make sure that their children receive the Sacraments they need for Heaven, and will help raise them not simply for this life, but for Eternal Life with God. 

Good of Spouses 

The second good of marriage, which is inseparable from the good of children, is the good of the spouses, their union to each other. 

• Living together as husband and wife in Christ, a man and a women offer each other mutual support and help. But this is not only in their daily lives, but also in their spiritual lives and their striving for Heaven and Eternal Happiness. 

• They pray together and for each other, and are meant to stand as beacons of grace and a source of grace for their spouses. 
• They advise and inspire each other, and work together for their children out of love for God and with the strength He provides. 
• They each give themselves to each other in Christ, and so the husband serves the wife and the wife serves her husband. 
• They help heal disordered concupiscence in their gift to each other and in their helping each other see the meaning and purpose of their union. 

• The establishment of marriage as a remedy for concupiscence does not mean that sinful thought or action become legitimate in a new context, or imply any use of the other, but it is rather that in marriage one exchanges a false desire for a true love. It is a cure for concupiscence, not by means of a mere outlet or release of sexual tension, but by means of a transformation of selfishness through a self-gift and a bond of union.

This allows them to become better and holier. Their weaknesses are healed and their virtues are awakened and kindled in their lives together. 

Image of the Church

Those who are married in the Church become images of the Church. Their union to each other takes on a special value and symbolism. Their marriage is so holy that is shows the love of Christ to the Church and the Church to Christ.  “ ‘For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)

• Someone should be able to look at them, and at their love for each other and their children, and from that be able to understand a bit better the love and union of Jesus to the Church. 
• Their marriage is therefore 

• Permanent
• exclusive, and 
• Fruitful  in a special way.

 Since Jesus can never stop loving His Church, since He will never deny her or reject her – though some of her members might leave Him – the union of husband and wife in Christ takes on a share of that permanence. 

• It is especially exclusive, between one man and one woman, since Jesus formed only one Church. His Church is never unfaithful to Him as He is never unfaithful to her. The Sacramental marriage shares in the faithfulness. 
• The union of Jesus and His Catholic Church is permanant because it was made by God, and kept alive and free from error by the Strength of God Himself. “[Y]ou are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18) In the same way, especially since they are symbols of His union to His Church, He will give His Strength and His Grace to Sacramental marriages – if the couple chose to accept It. 
• The Church is also fruitful, constantly bringing new souls to life in God by the Sacraments. The Sacramental marriage should also be as fruitful as God wishes it to be, bearing children for the Church and for Heaven.   

Building up the Church

Every society has an interest in the marriage of its members, since the marriage provides children: building up and forming the society. The Church is a supernatural society, the union of God and man. The Sacramental Marriage builds up the Church in at least two ways.  

1) It provides new souls, the children, as new members. It helps them to grow up united to God, always receiving the Graces they need to serve and love God, and so Glorify Him.

2) It builds up the holiness of the spouses, making them better and more perfect members of the Church. 

School of Love

Holy Matrimony is then a special kind of school of love. It is training not simply to care for other people, but to care for other people out of love of Christ. It allows the couple to receive the Grace and love of Christ so that they are able to live out this life as best they can. 

• Marriage is meant for the holiness of the spouses, not simply their happiness. It was the path that God asked them to walk to Him, by helping their husband and wife to Heaven.

• One of the ways that modern society twists marriage is to say that it for the happiness of each particular spouse: in other words, that when times get difficult and one or the other is not happy, it’s no longer a marriage. But this understanding is completely shallow and shriveled.
• Yes, marriage helps people be happy. But because we live in a world that is wounded and is in need of healing, there will always be suffering until we are united to God in Heaven. Marriage is not simply about earthly pleasure, though God uses that as a sign to show us the goodness of marriage, but it is about Eternal Glory and Happiness. It is a place where a man and women learn to be holy, to be united to God – through each other. 

To ignore the permanence and the exclusiveness that a marriage is supposed to have, is to reject part of the love and the gift that it is supposed to be. 

Daily Life and Holiness

Marriage helps the husband and the wife to become holy in the ordinary, daily lives. It provides each person help to live their daily life, and help to live it in the way it is supposed to be lived, and for the reasons that God gave life to us. The married life is not irrelevant to holiness and union with God, and holiness and union with God is not irrelevant to living a good and beautiful married life. 

• Marriage is, of its very nature, a gift of oneself. Elevated and healed by the Sacrament, the gift becomes a holy thing, beautiful and pleasing to God. It is a way to live bodily the grace and love given by God, and a way to come closer and closer to God through daily, ordinary, bodily life, charged and enflamed with Grace. It occurs through another human being, through the transformation of human love. 

class notes Matrimony Formation Class #2 overview of the faith

Overview of the Faith

Why Review the Faith now? 

                   All our life is to be united with God. We are meant to live with Him. Marriage is an important part of life, and an important moment to unite to God and to ensure that we are doing this in Him and with Him. We are remembering what it means to be Catholic, so that Holy Matrimony strengthens and increases our happiness here, our growth in love, and leads to Heaven.

How connected to Marriage

                    For individuals: can’t be what we should be if not living the Faith. “

                    For couple: Could not love thee, dear, so much”; putting God and Faith first makes for a better, happier, and holier Marriage. This is because it is given a greater purpose, a greater union, a firmer foundation, and will lead to an eternal friendship in Heaven, even though certain aspects of Marriage will be no longer (all Sacraments are transitory, no Baptism, or Communion in Heaven either, but effects and point remain)

        For future children: need to teach the Faith- give them Truth and help them to be holy and happy forever; not just here

             

Twelve Articles of the Creed (so divided because of legend of the Twelve Apostles at Pentecost)

• (1) I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth;
• The meaning of the above words is this: I believe with certainty, and without a shadow of doubt profess my belief in God the Father, the First Person of the Trinity, who by His omnipotence created from nothing and preserves and governs the heavens and the earth and all things which they contain; and not only do I believe in Him from my heart and profess this belief with my lips, but with the greatest ardour and piety I tend towards Him, as the supreme and most perfect good.
• Faith is necessary, Faith is a gift from God, about trusting in His Word, all that He has revealed: requires profession of life and in speech
• One God
• Father because 
• Creator
• Adopts Christians through Grace
• Blessed Trinity
• God is Almighty and deserves our trust, our adoration, our service, and our love
• Trinity makes all things, we say the Father to teach us something about Who the Father is; God cares for all Creation, and for each of us

• (2) And in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord;
• That wonderful and superabundant are the blessings which flow to the human race from the belief and profession of this Article we learn from these words of St. John: Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God abideth in him, and he in God; and also from the words of Christ the Lord, proclaiming the Prince of the Apostles blessed for the confession of this truth: Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-Jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it to thee, but my Father who is in heaven. For this Article is the most firm basis of our salvation and redemption.
• Recall need for a Savior, promise of Savior, and promise fulfilled
• Savior Who Is 
• Priest
• Prophet
• King
• By Divinity
• By descent of David
• By perfection of humanity
• By Conquest of the devil
• By Head of the Church and New Adam
• Jesus is truly God: He is also truly a man. He is one Divine Person, Who took to Himself a human nature through the yes of the Virgin Mary. Always God, He entered into time and was born a true child of Mary, 2000 years ago, in Israel, with true human body and soul, true family, true ancestry, like us in all things except sin
• Humbled Himself to Redeem us, and so is Lord because He is God and Lord as the One Who cares for us, and Who died to save us
• At Baptism we declared that we renounced the devil and the world, and gave ourselves unreservedly to Jesus Christ.
• We owe Him love and adoration because He is God and because He loves us and saved us

• (3) Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary;

This is the plan and means by which God decided to save us. It is a reminder that there is nothing more glorious or magnificent than this divine goodness and beneficence towards us.

• we believe and confess that the same Jesus Christ, our only Lord, the Son of God, when He assumed human flesh for us in the womb of the Virgin, was not conceived like other men, from the seed of man, but in a manner transcending the order of nature, that is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; so that the same Person, remaining God as He was from eternity, became man, what He was not before… as Pope St. Leo the Great said: The lowliness of the inferior nature was not consumed in the glory of the superior, nor did the assumption of the inferior lessen the glory of the superior.
• Each Person of the Trinity worked in the Incarnation, but attributed to Holy Ghost because shows love of God for us
• As soon as the Blessed Virgin assented to the announcement of the Angel in these words, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done unto me according to thy word, the most sacred body of Christ was immediately formed, and to it was united a rational soul enjoying the use of reason; and thus in the same instant of time He was perfect God and perfect man. 
• Again -- and this should overwhelm us with astonishment -- as soon as the soul of Christ was united to His body, the Divinity became united to both; and thus at the same time His body was formed and animated, and the Divinity united to body and soul.
• Hence, at the same instant He was perfect God and perfect man, and the most Holy Virgin, having at the same moment conceived God and man, is truly and properly called Mother of God and man. This the Angel signified to her when he said: Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Most High. The event verified the prophecy of Isaias: Behold a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son. Elizabeth also declared the same truth when" being filled with the Holy Ghost, she understood the Conception of the Son of God, and said: Whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
• As the body of Christ was formed of the pure blood of the immaculate Virgin without the aid of man, as we have already said, and by the sole operation of the Holy Ghost, so also, at the moment of His Conception, His soul was enriched with an overflowing fullness of the Spirit of God, and a superabundance of all graces. For God gave not to Him, as to others adorned with holiness and grace, His Spirit by measure, as St. John testifies but poured into His soul the plenitude of all graces so abundantly that of his fullness we all have received.
• Jesus truly came to earth and lived among us. This should give us great joy and hope. 
• Mary is the New Eve, who cooperates in our Salvation by her Fiat, by raising Christ, by assenting, and by participating in everything that Jesus did to save us
• Remember:
• The humility of God
• How God has elevated the human person
• How we must make sure there is room for Him in our hearts

• (4) Suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.
• Recall frequently because of what St. Paul said: that he knows nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified.' We should give themselves entirely to the contemplation of the goodness and love of God towards us.
• He had a real human nature, blessed, elevated and entered into Time
• He fulfilled all prophecies in the OT (Isaiah 53) and His own
• Christ really died, and died freely to save us
• Christ was buried: but did not corrupt because He is God (death did not conquer Him, He conquered death)
• Should anyone inquire why the Son of God underwent His most bitter Passion, he will find that besides the guilt inherited from our first parents the principal causes were the vice's and crimes which have been perpetrated from the beginning of the world to the present day and those which will be committed to the end of time. In His Passion and death the Son of God, our Saviour, intended to atone for and blot out the sins of all ages, to offer for them to his Father a full and abundant satisfaction.
• Besides, to increase the dignity of this mystery, Christ not only suffered for sinners, but even for those who were the very authors and ministers of all the torments He endured. Of this the Apostle reminds us in these words addressed to the Hebrews: Think diligently upon him that endured such opposition from sinners against himself; that you be not wearied, fainting in your minds. In this guilt are involved all those who fall frequently into sin; for, as our sins consigned Christ the Lord to the death of the cross, most certainly those who wallow in sin and iniquity crucify to themselves again the Son of God, as far as in them lies, and make a mockery of Him. This guilt seems more enormous in us than in the Jews, since according to the testimony of the same Apostle: If they had known it, they would never have crucified the Lord of glory; while we, on the contrary, professing to know Him, yet denying Him by our actions, seem in some sort to lay violent hands on him.
• By His Passion Jesus:
• Delivered us from sin
• Rescued us from the devil
• Discharged us from the punishment of sin
• Opened up Heaven
• We should remember these things that God has done for us

• (5) He descended into hell; the third day He arose again from the dead;
• Soul and body separate from each other, but each united to the Divinity
• Went to purgatory and to Limbo:
• He might liberate from prison those holy Fathers and the other just souls, and might bring them into heaven with Himself. 
• He might proclaim His power and authority, and that every knee should bow, of those that are in heaven, on earth, and under the earth.

And here, who is not filled with admiration and astonishment when he contemplates the infinite love of God for man! Not satisfied with having undergone for our sake a most cruel death, He penetrates the inmost recesses of the earth to transport into bliss the souls whom He so dearly loved and whose liberation from thence He had achieved.

• He rose by His own power, re-united soul and body never separate from Divinity
• Third day:
• To show that He is God
• Waited to show He was truly dead
• Not fourth day, because not corrupted 
• Resurrection shows the Justice of God, Who glorified His Son after His Sufferings, and will do the same for us
• Helps us acknowledge the Power and Glory of God, is a promise of our Resurrection; and teaches us to reject and rise from sin
• We should live in the Hope of the Resurrection and focused on Heaven

• (6) He ascended into Heaven, sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty;
• As God, He never left Heaven; now His humanity is raised up to the Godhead and Glorified and adored 
• He has ultimate power and authority, even as a man: He is God. All things are under His feet and subject to Him. 
• He Ascended because:
• Heaven is His rightful place
• To Prove that His Kingdom is not an earthly one
• To urge us to follow with heart and will
• And to prepare our own Salvation; e.g. the Holy Spirit was sent by Jesus in His Humanity and He wishes to bring us, too, into the highest realms of Heaven
• He, as Head, is there already, if we are united to Him, we will be where He is now. 
• Helps increase Faith (believe in Him), Hope (He will save us), and Charity (gratitude and love for His gifts, gratitude and love because He is God)

• (7) From thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
• He is our Savior, but He, Who Is Just, will also judge us
• Judged on how well we followed Him
• Trinity judges, but attributed because He is God and Man, and Head of the Human race
• Particular  at death
• General  at end of the world
• General will unite our soul and bodies, and we will be rewarded or punished as complete human persons, body and soul
• Good will be in Heaven
• Evil will be in Hell
• Warning, and a promise full of consolation

• (8) I believe in the Holy Ghost;
• Truly God, equal in Power and Majesty with the Father and the Son: we are Baptized in His Name, blessed in His Name; Scripture shows Him doing Divine things
• Teaches us about God
• Guides the Church
• Allows us to know, love, and confess Jesus
• Unites us to Jesus
• Causes us to be Holy
• Called the Holy Spirit because no analogous human relationship, as there is with the Father and the Son
• Truly a different Person, but the same God
• he Holy Ghost proceeds by an eternal procession from the Father and the Son, as from one principle
• there are certain admirable effects, certain excellent gifts of the Holy Ghost, which are said to originate and emanate from Him, as from a perennial fountain of goodness. Although the intrinsic works of the most Holy Trinity are common to the Three Persons, yet many of them are attributed specially to the Holy Ghost, to signify that they arise from the boundless charity of God towards us. For as the Holy Ghost proceeds from the divine will, inflamed, as it were, with love, we can perceive that these effects which are referred particularly to the Holy Ghost, are the result of God's supreme love for us.
• Creation, love, life
• 7 Gifts
• Justifying Grace

• (9) The Holy Catholic Church; the Communion of Saints;
• Hold to the Church to be protected against errors and to follow Jesus, Who founded the Church for our Salvation, to be the means we are united to Him
• Three classes
• Church Militant
• Church Penitent/Suffering
• Church Triumphant
• Four Marks
• One
• In government
• Sacraments
• Faith
• Unity of Spirit
• Holy
• Founded by God
• Dedicated to God
• United to God
• Where true Worship of God and sanctification of men occurs
• Catholic/ Universal
• For all men: all classes, countries, and times (cf. Mt. 28:20)
• Contains all who are saved (but some might be invisibly members until the Resurrection)
• Teaches us all the Truth
• Apostolic
• Founded on the Apostles
• Teaches and believes what was taught and believed by the Apostles
• Ruled by the Successors of the Apostles 
• We say we believe in her because we are saying that we believe that God gave her to us, that she has the True Faith, and that we will strive to be her children
• Communion of Saints: The Evangelist St. John, writing to the faithful on the divine mysteries, explains as follows why he undertook to instruct them in these truths: That you may have fellowship with us, and our fellowship may be with the Father, and with his son Jesus Christ. This fellowship consists in the Communion of Saints, the subject of the present Article. It is a sort of explanation of the preceding part which regards the unity, sanctity and catholicity of the Church.
• Communion of Sacraments, binding us to Jesus and each other
• Communion of Good Works: truly a mystical body, where good of each one benefits all
• True Society of Worship 

• (10) The forgiveness of sins;
• The Church has the power to take away sins, 
• In Baptism all sins before
• By Confession afterwards
• All sins for which we are sorry
• But limited to certain persons: priests and Bishops
• Sins are only forgiven by the power of God: it is to Him we owe debt, and becoming Righteous is beyond all human power since it means union with Him, and recreation
• Jesus the source of all forgiveness, through the shedding of His Blood
• Trust in God’s Mercy and make use of it, without despising His Love and presuming on it

• (11) The resurrection of the body;
• Not just Jesus, but every human person will rise again. God will resurrect them, and reunite their bodies to their souls
• Pointing to by the raising to life by Elias and by Jesus
• Analogies in nature of wheat, winter and spring, and the new day
• We know that soul is meant for the body, that God made us to be whole and died to save us and make us whole
• Really the same body, same nature, whole and entire
• But the just to Heaven and in glory, the damned to Hell and suffering
• The Saints will have bodies that 
• Will be beyond pain, suffering, decay or death
• Will shine with the glory of God
• Completely under the power and will of the soul, all will be easy 
• Think about this because Hell is a warning and help to avoid sin; because we owe God gratitude for this promise; have hope for those who die; help us to live good lives and to bear sufferings with patience

• (12) And life everlasting. Amen.
• Not just for a short time, but everlasting life, and perfect, everlasting happiness in Heaven
• What God made us for, what God wants
• Seek Heaven, not simply earthly happiness
• No more evil, perfect union with God
• Elevated to be with Jesus, elevated to see God as He Is, which means we become like Him in manner greater than we can imagine
• e sure way of obtaining it is to possess the virtues of faith and charity, to persevere in prayer and the use of the Sacraments, and to discharge all the duties of kindness towards their neighbour.
• Thus, through the mercy of God, who has prepared that blessed glory for those who love Him, shall be one day fulfilled the words of the Prophet: My people shall sit in the beauty of peace, and in the tabernacle of confidence, and in wealthy rest.

Six Precepts of the Church:

2041 The precepts of the Church are set in the context of a moral life bound to and nourished by liturgical life. the obligatory character of these positive laws decreed by the pastoral authorities is meant to guarantee to the faithful the indispensable minimum in the spirit of prayer and moral effort, in the growth in love of God and neighbor:

2042 The first precept (“You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation.") requires the faithful to participate in the Eucharistic celebration when the Christian community gathers together on the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord.⁸²

The second precept (“You shall confess your sins at least once a year.") ensures preparation for the Eucharist by the reception of the sacrament of reconciliation, which continues Baptism's work of conversion and forgiveness.⁸³

The third precept (“You shall humbly receive your Creator in Holy Communion at least during the Easter season.") guarantees as a minimum the reception of the Lord's Body and Blood in connection with the Paschal feasts, the origin and center of the Christian liturgy.⁸⁴

2043 The fourth precept (“You shall keep holy the holy days of obligation.") completes the Sunday observance by participation in the principal liturgical feasts which honor the mysteries of the Lord, the Virgin Mary, and the saints.⁸⁵

The fifth precept (“You shall observe the prescribed days of fasting and abstinence.") ensures the times of ascesis and penance which prepare us for the liturgical feasts; they help us acquire mastery over our instincts and freedom of heart.⁸⁶

The faithful also have the duty of providing for the material needs of the Church, each according to his abilities.

class notes Matrimony Formation class #4 the Rite of Marriage

Excerpts from the English translation of the Rite of Marriage © 1969, International Committee on English in the Liturgy, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Rite of Marriage

What is a Rite? 

A “rite” or ritual, is the correct way to perform a religious function. It refers to the correct way to worship God, to offer Him adoration – that is, the particular honor and reverence that is due to God alone.  The various rites of the Church unite our belief and our lives, give outward expression to what we believe. The rites of the Church, from the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass to the ceremonies during a Catholic wedding are not empty gestures, but a solemn and dignified movement of the heart that blossoms into speech and action. 

But the rites of the Church are not simply the expression of any individual. Since the Church is the union of God and man, and since God is the source of all life and grace, the rites of the Church have their origin, their driving force, and their goal in the Heart of God. The rites of the Church have their origin in the Jewish forms of prayer and worship, which were directly revealed to Moses by God on Mt. Sinai. When Jesus came to redeem us, He lived, taught, and worshipped God in this context, and when He gave us the Sacraments, the seven miracles of grace that unite us to Himself, He used this revelation as a background and foundation. 

In later centuries the Church embellished and added to what was given, but always without changing the substance, the meaning, or the heart of what had been handed to us by Jesus. The rites of the Church, then, are not about spontaneous expressions of love and devotion, or about inventing words and phrases: they are something handed to us from above, to pull us up toward Heaven. 

This is true of the Rite of Marriage. The heart of the wedding is the mutual exchange of consent, and the mutual gift of oneself to the other, before a representative of the Catholic Church, usually a priest. It is not simply about uniting you to each other, but also about uniting you to God, and to elevate you to a new position and dignity in the Church. The Sacraments come from God and, if we want to receive the graces and help they give, we must follow the path marked out by Him. We must receive what was handed down to us, not make up some ceremony. As St. Paul wrote in 2 Thessalonians 2:15, “So then, brethren, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught, whether by word of mouth or by letter”.

No human being can create something that rivals the goodness that God gives. The ritual ensures that we follow the footsteps of Jesus and honor Him in the correct way, and enter into the marriage in the right spirit and with the union sealed and ensured by God Himself. Because you become a means of grace to each other, and distribute the Sacrament to each other, it is necessary to understand the ritual, to think about it, and to be aware of the purpose and meaning behind the words that you say.   

Why do we usually celebrate Marriage during Mass?

The Mass and Sacrament of Marriage are intimately connected. Pope St. John Paul II reminded us of this fact in his Apostolic Exhortion On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World, Familiaris Consortio. In describing the relationship between the Sacrament of the Mass and the Sacrament of Marriage, he wrote, “To understand better and live more intensely the graces and responsibilities of Christian marriage and family life, it is altogether necessary to rediscover and strengthen this relationship.”

The Mass is the Source of Marriage

The Mass is the re-presentation and the reoffering of the One Sacrifice of Calvary. In the Mass, Jesus is made truly present, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. In the Mass each of us are able to unite ourselves in His worship of the Father. Since the Cross is the source of all grace and every Sacrament, and Jesus Christ’s crucifixion is made present, than the Mass has a unique relationship to Catholic Matrimony. Pope John Paul II said this:  “The Eucharist is the very source of Christian marriage. The Eucharistic Sacrifice, in fact, represents Christ's covenant of love with the Church, sealed with His blood on the Cross.(145) In this sacrifice of the New and Eternal Covenant, Christian spouses encounter the source from which their own marriage covenant flows, is interiorly structured and continuously renewed.” (FC 57) The Eucharist, then, since It is Jesus, is the source of your Marriage. “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mt. 19:6)

It is especially appropriate to begin your Marriage with the worthy reception of Holy Communion, and to go back often to the Him Who joins you to each other and through each other to Himself. 

The Sacrament of Matrimony manifests the gifts of God to His Church, and the Mass reveals the depths of the bond of Sacrament Marriage

Marriage is the human expression and reflection of the love of God. Out of this love new life is created, and a union is formed that leads to the true maturation and holiness of individuals. Marriage is the school of love, and is meant to lead to Heaven. 

Since Marriage is this human bond of love that has been elevated to become a fountain of grace through the death of Jesus, that is, a Sacrament, it reflects and teaches us about the love of God for His Church. Marriage teaches in a human manner, reflects in an earthly way, the same Mystery that is displayed in the Mass. 

 The Eucharist shows the bond of Christ and His Church, which can never be broken. The Eucharist is a promise that Jesus will be faithful to His Church and not seek other brides.  The Mass than, teaches that God will remain with His Church in an exclusive unique love. This teaches us the fact that one man is meant for one woman. (cf. Benedict XVI, Sacramentum Caritatis 28)

In a similar way it shows us that God will never be parted from His Church. “If the Eucharist expresses the irrevocable nature of God's love in Christ for his Church, we can then understand why it implies, with regard to the sacrament of Matrimony, that indissolubility to which all true love necessarily aspires.” (Benedict XVI, SC 29)

But it is more than just symbolism or pretty images. It is truly God Who is present on the Altar during Mass. When God teaches, He doesn’t simply use pictures or stories, but He uses real people. He creates realities, makes us really share in the Mystery in order to manifest it. Marriage isn’t just a symbol or expression, but, by the plan of God takes part in this Truth of the love of God and His Church, receives a real share in the love God has for us. It is only because a Sacramental Marriage shares in this reality that it can display it and make it known. 

“The Eucharist inexhaustibly strengthens the indissoluble unity and love of every Christian marriage. By the power of the sacrament, the marriage bond is intrinsically linked to the eucharistic unity of Christ the Bridegroom and his Bride, the Church (cf. Eph 5:31-32). The mutual consent that husband and wife exchange in Christ, which establishes them as a community of life and love, also has a eucharistic dimension. Indeed, in the theology of Saint Paul, conjugal love is a sacramental sign of Christ's love for his Church, a love culminating in the Cross, the expression of his "marriage" with humanity and at the same time the origin and heart of the Eucharist. For this reason the Church manifests her particular spiritual closeness to all those who have built their family on the sacrament of Matrimony.” (Benedict XVI, SC 27)

St. Paul teaches us the following: “For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31-32, quoting Genesis 2:24). 

In the Sacrament of Matrimony, then, the husband and wife do not simply swear oaths to each other, or even to each other in the presence of God, but they make solemn promises to each other and to God Himself. God has made marriage Sacred, and a sharing in His Love and Life. Breaking these promises is not just infidelity to human beings, but infidelity to God. The Mass and the Holy Eucharist become a continual source of renewal and reminder for a Catholic Marriage: am I living up to my promises to God and to spouse? Am I manifesting the Love that God has given me a share in, or have I strangled it, “put my light under a bushel basket”?

Pope John Paul II reminds us, “As a representation of Christ's sacrifice of love for the Church, the Eucharist is a fountain of charity. In the Eucharistic gift of charity the Christian family finds the foundation and soul of its "communion" and its "mission": by partaking in the Eucharistic bread, the different members of the Christian family become one body, which reveals and shares in the wider unity of the Church. Their sharing in the Body of Christ that is "given up" and in His Blood that is "shed" becomes a never-ending source of missionary and apostolic dynamism for the Christian family.” (FC 57)

The Mass explains the goal of Marriage, Marriage contains a taste of eternal life

The Mass and the Holy Eucharist show us the goal of Heaven and the final union of God and man for all eternity. Even now, the Mass is a share in the eternal Banquet of Heaven, and preparation for it. Pope Benedict wrote, “Jesus showed that he wished to transfer to the entire community which he had founded the task of being, within history, the sign and instrument of the eschatological gathering that had its origin in him. Consequently, every eucharistic celebration sacramentally accomplishes the eschatological gathering of the People of God. For us, the eucharistic banquet is a real foretaste of the final banquet foretold by the prophets (cf. Is 25:6-9) and described in the New Testament as "the marriage-feast of the Lamb" (Rev 19:7-9), to be celebrated in the joy of the communion of saints.” (SC 31) This is the goal of Marriage. 

Jesus used marriage as an image of His Love and union for us: even certain ceremonies and expressions in the Last Supper echoed the Jewish marriage ritual. In a very real way, the Divine Purpose behind the creation of Marriage in the first place, was to express the union of God and mankind. Marriage is a means of grace, of holiness, a source of human love, and a union with Divine Love because of Sanctifying Grace. Since it is a Sacrament, it not only assists us on our journey toward Heaven, but is a foretaste of Heaven itself. 

These are a few of the reasons why it is fitting that the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is celebrated within the context of the Mass, so that the Bride and Groom can together receive their Divine Savior and through Him, be united deeply to each other, receiving Holy Communion for the first time as a wedded couple. 

 What is the meaning of the Marriage Rite?

During the marriage rite the Bride and the Groom give and receive their mutual consent before God and His witness. The Rite begins with an exhortation by the priest about the duties and the promises they will make. This is followed by a series of questions asking if they understand what they are promising, if they will what they are saying, and if they will uphold the essential qualities of marriage, that is: the exclusive union to their spouse, their faithfulness, and their openness to any children God might send them.  

All stand, including the bride and bridegroom, and the priest addresses them in these or similar words:

The fact that we rise and stand shows that we recognize the presence of God. Even though the priest speaks to the couple, it is God Who is asking about their readiness and their promises. Certain authors remind us that standing is the posture of a servant before his master – it is a sign of ready obedience, of willingness to do everything that God is asking of us, and willing to do it quickly and with joy. 

My dear friends, you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions.

In this exhortation, the priest reminds the bride and the groom about what is about to take place. He points of the doorway of the Sacraments is Baptism, and that the marriage consent is exchanged in the presence of God, of His minister, and before the entire Church. The bride and the groom are taking a new role in the life of the Church and receive a new place in the Mystical Body as a couple who manifest the fruitful, faithful, exclusive, and free Love of God for His Church. The couple is asked to state publically what they intend, what they will, before the actual promises are made. 

The priest then questions them about their freedom of choice, faithfulness to each other, and the acceptance and upbringing of children.

The bride and the groom are the ones giving the promises and confecting the Sacrament. But they do not invent the Sacrament or its meaning. Just as no priest can invent  new Mass or a new way to be forgiven of sins, so too, the bride and groom do not invent their marriage but enter into and receive a great gift from their Heavenly Father. The questions remind them of the vows they will make, and prepares them to mean what they say. 

(Name) and (Name), have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?

Love cannot be forced or coerced. In the love of the married couple, they give the entirety of themselves. Love is always a gift, and cannot be stolen without ceasing to be love. It means that there is no undue fear (simple nervousness or worry about the future is not meant here, but a true attempt to manipulate the will of the other). The question asks the bride and the groom to publically state that it is their wish to be married, and that they wish to enter into a real marriage, not simply a one-night stand or some kind of living together. 

They come for the sake of marriage, to give to the other the rights over their body, to live together, and seek the good for the other, to provide support for the other.  

The fact that there is no reservation in the gift of self means that the love is exclusive. It is a gift uniquely given, in recognition of the unique and particular goodness of the other that no one else has. It means that the spouses will not seek love from another in the way they seek it from their spouse as long as their spouse is living, that they will not give it to another in that way as long as their spouse lives.  

Marriage is not just giving a gift, but accepting the other, and accepting them as they are, with all their flaws and weaknesses. It is the acceptance, in love, of a real, unique individual, not a phantasm or a wish of how the other is “supposed” to be, or how you would like them to be. That is why there is mention of the other, the particular bride and groom, the real person that stands with you. 

Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?

This question refers to the undertaking of the duties of matrimony, to truly living together as a couple, constantly seeking to perfect that union and love that begins in the wedding. It means a willingness to undertake the necessary work to keep the union alive, to protect it from attacks from outside of the couple, and from within their own hearts. 

It is not any kind of grudging acceptance, or mere tolerance of the other as though their presence was a burden that I must put up with. It is a promise to love and honor the other, to seek their good, and to respect them, recognizing their unique goodness, their talents and gifts, and seeking to help them preserve and grow in them. In means that we treat the other as a person, given them the affection they need, being honest with them about their failings, honest about our own struggles and needs, and helping them on their way to Heaven. True charity wants what’s best for the other, seeking their good and their holiness even before fulfilling my own wishes and wants. 

The question asks about love as husband and wife, that is, not just love of the will or kind words, but a union of the body. To love as man and wife means that the marriage is consummated, sealed by the gift of love that is expressed and manifested the body. This love must be given in a human way, that is, not out of lust or selfishness, not using contraceptives or methods that deliberately frustrate the meaning and gift of the marriage act. It means that in the sexual union the other person is not simply a tool for personal pleasure but a person to whom I give myself in the entirety of my masculinity or femininity, and who I receive in the entirety of their masculinity or femininity. 

And this is something that will last as long as both are alive. Love is not meant for ten minutes, or ten years, or until some problem arises. The promise that is being made is that whatever happens in the future the gift cannot be revoked or taken back, but that the love of the spouse for the other – even if it is not returned, or if human affection and emotion dies away – will never be taken back. The question asks if the choice will remain firm and complete, that the couple realize that divorce and remarriage is not an option or even a possibility. 

This is the way that the marriage build up the bride and the groom as a couple and as individuals. Marriage is a great gift and a great honor. 

The exclusiveness of the marriage as well as its permanence is not a burden to be borne or a necessary evil. Rather it is a great gift and a great good given to the Sacrament of Marriage. It is a guarantee for the depths of love that each person looks for, it is a guide on how to live it out, and a rule by which to examine how well we are doing. 

The following question may be omitted if, for example, the couple is advanced in years.

Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

It is in and through the love of husband and wife that God wishes to create new life. Children become the unique expression of a unique love, and a gift to each other, a gift from God, a gift to the world, and gift to the Church. God wishes that new persons be created only in a true marriage. It is love that makes the universe be a good place, without it, even wealth and fame is misery. More people in our lives means more love: a family is more happy, and more human than two people who are simply coupling by mutual selfish agreement. 

Since children are a gift they must not be feared or seen as a burden. Each new person in the world has the potential to do great things. Each new person is someone to be loved, and someone who loves. The Catholic marriage builds up the Church by providing new members for her, and by increasing the holiness of the spouses as they learn to love and accept new people for the sake of God and in His Name to welcome the smallest and weakest of people. As Jesus tells us, “whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because he is a disciple—amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.” (Mt. 10:42) And, “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.”  (Mt. 25:40)

This means that contraception or mutual masturbation or other technique that seek pleasure by avoid new life are not to be practiced. They are harmful to the marriage, hurting the unity of husband and wife. A marriage not open to life, not open to having children and becoming a physical father and mother, it is not an entire gift. A marriage that is afraid of new life, that wants to control how much new life comes into being through their love is being stingy with their love. It destroys the union because it keeps back part of themselves, their fertility and ability to create new life. 

Note however, that this is very different than the recourse to times of abstinence from sexual intimacy to avoid having children for serious reasons, that is, NFP. Then there is still respect for each other and for God, and a growth in the virtue of self-control for the sake of the other, and an increase in communication between the spouses. 

The question also asks if they understand that the children who they welcome into their family must be raised and assisted to becoming holy, becoming good Catholics, and becoming saints.  It is not the mere giving of life, or birthing them, but the task of the parents to raise, and train and guide them to becoming people of good and upright character, who can live good lives and reach heaven in the end. 

Each answers the questions separately.

Both the bride and the groom must each make the promise, must each give and each be ready to receive the gift of the other. This promise and exchange can only be made by them. God does not force their will, but asks for their cooperation and help in His Divine plan. 

At this point, the man and the woman have each publically stated what they intend, and what they understand about matrimony. They are prepared to accept it joys, struggles, and sorrows, and to hold fast to God, to their vows, and to each other. After this, the actual Sacrament takes place. 

Consent

The priest invites the couple to declare their consent.

Priest:

Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

They join hands.

The joining of hands was an ancient symbol of making a solemn promise. The ritual has its roots in the early days of the Church, and was possibly something that was brought in from the customs of Rome, but baptized by the Catholic Church, giving it new meaning and relevance. It is also a sign of union into which the bride and the groom are about to enter. It is fitting that they make their promises, and thus confer the Sacrament to each other while they hold hands. 

The promises here are the fulfillment of what was expressed in the questions of the priest earlier. Then, the couple was asked what they were intending – here they make the promises they had said they were going to. 

Option A

The bridegroom says:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

The bride says:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Option B

 In the dioceses of the United States, the following form may be used:

The bridegroom says:

Groom:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Bride:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

If, however, it seems preferable for pastoral reasons, the priest may obtain consent from the couple through questions.

Option A

First he asks the bridegroom:

(Name), do you take (Name) to be your wife? Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life?

The bridegroom: I do.

Then he asks the bride:

(Name), do you take (Name) to be your husband? Do you promise to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life?

The bride: I do

Option B

 In the dioceses of the United States, the following form may be used:

First he asks the bridegroom:

(Name), do you take (Name) for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?

The bridegroom: I do.

Then he asks the bride:

(Name), do you take (Name) for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?

The bride: I do.

At this point, the Marriage has occurred. The consent has been given and received, and the man and woman have become wed. The Sacrament has been given to the bride and the groom by each other in their mutual gift and acceptance of the will and promises of the other. 

The Sacrament is the source of union with God, that is Sanctifying Grace, and it gives the couple special assistance in living out their married life. It gives them rights to special help and graces from God in times of trouble and difficulty, and well as times of joy. 

Receiving their consent, the priest says:

You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings.

What God has joined, men must not divide.

Response: Amen.

The priest acknowledges that he has witnessed to the Sacrament in the Name of Christ and in the name of the Catholic Church. He asks blessing for them, and reminds them once again that their marriage has its source in God, and that by fidelity to each other they are being faithful to God and honoring Him. 

Blessing and exchange of Rings

The rings are not a necessary part of the marriage ritual, but they have become very common, and have roots going back to pre-Christian times. Blessed by the Church they are a symbol of the marriage that has already occurred, they are a reminder to the bride and the groom of the vows they have made to God and each other, and they are a public declaration that the man and the woman are married.

Meaning and symbolism of Ring

As the rite makes clear, the ring is a symbol of their faithfulness to each other. In its shape it has no end, as their promise is not for merely a period of their lives, but until death separates them. 

The pagan Roman historian Pliny (AD 79), wrote that the ring is put on the fourth finger of the hand because the vein in that finger runs straight to the heart. 

The rite

The ring is first blessed, since it is a symbol of the sacredness of the spouses for each other. It is also a reminder and sign, and so becomes a renewal of the promises as it is worn. 

Option 1

Priest:

May the Lord bless these rings
which you give to each other
as the sign of your love and fidelity.

Response:

Amen.

Option 2

Priest:

Lord, bless these rings which we bless in your name.
Grant that those who wear them
may always have a deep faith in each other.
May they do your will
and always live together
in peace, good will, and love.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Response:

Amen.

Option 3

Priest:

Lord, bless and consecrate (Name) and (Name)
in their love for each other.
May these rings be a symbol
of true faith in each other,
and always remind them of their love.
Through Christ our Lord.

Response:

Amen.

Having been blessed by God, and become a symbol of the mutual consecration of bride and groom to each, the rings are given to each other as their love and vows were exchanged. 

The bridegroom places his wife's ring on her ring finger.

He may say:

(Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The bride places her husband's ring on his ring finger.

She may say:

(Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Nuptial Blessing

Immediately following the Our Father, a special blessing is given that asks God to assist the couple throughout their married lives. The Church begs God for the blessings of the Sacrament, interceding as a family on behalf of the bride and groom. One writer, Fr. Hardon, defines it as “[t]he formal blessing of the newlywed couple, given at Mass after the Lord's Prayer. The priest gives the blessing with extended hands and prays for husband and wife that they may love one another, be faithful to each other, witness to others by their Christian virtue, and be blessed with children to whom they will be good parents.” (Modern Catholic Dictionary at http://www.therealpresence.org/cgi-bin/getdefinition.pl) 

Other texts in the Mass that refer to the Marriage

The prayers of the Mass of Holy Matrimony are constant reminders of the Mystery celebrated and the Sacrament that has taken place. The opening prayer, the prayer over the gifts, parts of the prayer before the Consecration called the preface, and the closing prayer each recall the purpose and meaning of the Marriage. When the Mass is being celebrated, you should pay attention and pray these prayers with the priest for yourselves and for each other.